I'm Free To Be Me

Finding A Breathe In My Circumstances

2009-07-22T21:43:00.000-07:00

What are you waiting on to be happy today? Are you waiting for an illness to go away, to "feel happy", a better job, closer friends, a better marriage, or maybe you're looking for a way out of something. How much energy do we give to make things "feel more happier" or how far are we willing to run to "feel happy"? We too often let our flesh control our emotions, and say it's the Holy Spirit, or we allow Satan to lie or justify to us what we're feeling is ok, but maybe you're in a specific circumstance right now that doesn't need to "feel good or happy", just maybe God has you right where you're at and if you move or change, you're going to miss out on something greater than the happiness you're seeking. Isaiah 30:18 says, "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" See the last part of that verse, blessed are "you" who wait for him!, with an exclamation point. He is our father, he wants us to wait on him, he has our best interest at heart, he is our Father! I know for me, I am learning that I let my emotions sometimes decide what the Holy Spirit is trying to tell me or teach me, but it's when I get in such a pit of despair, loneliness, and frustration that I finally stop my stubborness, and selfishness to listen. I believe in free will, but I also believe in things and purposes that God has for us, and if we allow our flesh to give up, instead of holding steadfast and perservering, we're going to miss out on something beautiful and so wonderful. That's when we truely experience "happiness", "joy", "contentment."Romans 15:13 tells us if we will just trust him, we will overflow with peace and hope from the Holy Spirit. Isn't the word a promise. Therefore, he is promising you and me, that if we're feeling lonely, waiting for your marriage to get just right, get that particular position, or get to a place where you can "feel" happy, you're depending on your flesh and not Him! Our trials are what grow us, make us more Christ like, produce fruit for the Glory of God, it's not the perfect circumstance, nor will he drop down a Super Cape, he wants us right where we are. Why waste today, the very breathe he gave you today for something tomorrow. We are his crop, and he knows when our fruit will be ripe, and only then can it bring him glory! The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you! That's for you, that's for me! What a beautiful promise! Rest assured that if you pick that head up, put on that armor, he didn't give it to us just to wear but, to use, you CAN PERSERVER AND HOLD STEADFAST!! It is our weakness, but it his STRENGTH!! So, don't wait anymore, count your blessings, fix the marriage he has blessed you with, love the place and the people where you are at, be content in the position you have, and know until the Holy Spirit urges and leads~take a breathe and be joyful in your circumstances and know God CAN and WILL use you right where you're at. You'll become whole and not hollow.

Waiting

2009-07-16T06:31:00.000-07:00

Are you waiting on something? News on a job? Something to do with your health or your children's health? Trying to sell a house? Waiting to see what happens to your finances? Family conflict? Seems as though we're always WAITING on something. It just part of life, I think sometimes God intentionally wants us to wait so not only we can see how he worked it out, but we can grow our faith. See, our family right now is going through ALL those scenarios. I got so overwhelmed this past yr with these situations and WAITING, I literally got sick, I mean sick, aggravated my heart condition, hives, bronchitis, even went as far as thinking I'll take control for a little while, cause you know, I can speed things up a little. Finally I stopped while laying in bed and thought to myself, "why does it take this for me to say, God, take it all, I trust you! I will have faith! I know you will take care of things in my best interest!" Nope, we're too stubborn!! At least I am, maybe you're not. One of my favorite verses is, Philippians 4:4-7, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again:Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." HELLO!!!! That should speak volumes to us. Let me put in our words, "Take a chill pill, listen to the Holy Spirit, take one day at a time, be thankful for the great things today, don't waste time on worrying about tomorrow,enjoy the abundant life he has given you, and GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF IT!!! It may not always be the way we want it, or the timing that we want, but it's His will, not ours. If we are truely are lifting our requests and praises up to Him, then He hears us. Yes, there are times where we need to have wisdom and have to make choices in a moments notice, but God will guide our hearts and minds then too. So often we walk around whining about what's not happening for us, or we're still WAITING, but just like we know it's time for our children to stay at home on their own, or watch a movie that maybe we didn't let them watch five years before, so does our Daddy God know when and what we need! Another one of my favorite verses, Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." See, if we truely trust in him, he will fill our hearts and overflow us with HOPE and PEACE!!! See, we just have to learn to let go, when we know we're ok with whatever happens, then you know you're right where you need to be. When you know you won't freak out, throw yourself out in front of a truck, or aren't breaking out in hives anymore~then you know all is well! His hope and peace is so much more powerful and comforting than being stressed or having hives. Let God be God and be content, love, serve,enjoy each moment(cause you only have that moment once) and LIVE while you're waiting! ;)

Matthew 7:1-5 Why Do We Think We Have The Right To Judge?Who Are You? Who Am I?

2009-07-15T06:39:00.000-07:00

Matthew 7:1-5 says,"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.~
WOW!!! This should speak volumes to us!! We are too caught up in the daily soap opera's in one another's lives, that we don't take the time be "Jesus" to one another. Even christians are getting more where they compete with one another to see who is more spiritual, or can hold it together the strongest and the longest. We have to let that go, and rest on Christ's shoulders and one another's love and support. How many times already in the last 24hrs have you thought to yourself about the speck in someone you love eye's? Do we spend more time worrying about being a better christian, and looking at others for comparison for our own selfish insecurities to feel better about ourselves? God wants our hearts, our insecurities, he wants it ALL!!! Who cares at the end of the day what others think, if you're not holding it together, let's encourage, lift, and love one another. I know I don't have it figured out, but God has opened more doors since I've let loose to be who I am in Christ, imperfections and all, to see people for the way Christ sees them, christian or not. God has taking my husband and I through a journey of a rebelious life to an extreme religious life, and he's teaching us balance, and they may be different for everyone, depending on their issues, addictions, struggles, and convictions. But, where my husband and I are at, is a place where we feel it's not sinful for us to a have a drink with one another, or to listen to a little secular music song, and other things. My point is, since the change we have reached more people with our life, rather than trying to live a "xyz" life and failing and that's why so many people call us hypocrites. We were recently at a restaurant/live music pub on a date, and a couple walked in, and felt that holy spirit leading, and told Keith we're going to talk to them tonight. Within 10 minutes we were talking to them. And, within an hour I was sitting down with her discussing what a relationship is with Christ , not what church is , but a relationship!! It was truley a God moment, they felt we were meeting them where they were at, instead of judging them, even knowing our ministry background. It reminded me of when Jesus reached out to those who were in bars, who were sinners, who were sick, and so forth, and the pharisees were like,"what are you doing?". See they were living by "xyz" and religious acts~not relationship. If you truely want to walk along side of Christ, to walk along his side is to have a relationship, not a certain way to live. Because, if you have the relationship, the walk will come. The bibe teaches in Galatians not to take advantage of your freedom, but John 8:12 says, "When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." You follow him, and he will truley direct your path, not the religious ways, or our checklists, but to freely walk with him, is to feel peaceful, with no shackles on your feet holding down from living a joyous abundant life! It's exciting! And a great desire to be "who" you are in Christ, not what we think we're supposed to be. We will still screw-up, and have to back track, but living for Christ does not mean living in "religious bondage"! I know for my husband and myself, we can listen to a non-christian song, have a margarita, even go dancing occasionally, and know we're still in the will of God, he's not judgeing me for trying to be perfect, I am still on his plan to reach the lost, to love the ones that no one will love, and to walk with him. And, at the end of the day, you know that! His perception, judgement, thought of you is all that matters. We must take a stand for the those who aren't being reached because we're so stuck in our religious ways, we can't step out of the box to reach them. Who will? Think of how many there are? How exciting it is to know that if we would step out, how many would truly be saved! Instead of being hypocrites, we would be loving people who met them where there at, being transparent of our flaws, and just loving them! What a world we could truely reach!!!

Without My Spiritual Cape

2009-07-14T20:15:00.000-07:00

I've put off a long time to write this blog. I truely felt God leading me to do it, and I guess I was waiting on my "Super Spiritual Cape" to arrive. Well, it didn't! I've come to realize when God calls you to something, you don't wait til you're ready, or God to strike you with super powers. If he did that we would not be able to give Him the glory! I want my first posting to be a little personal, because, I think it's important people know this is not a preaching session, or do I think that I'm a super spiritual woman, but, I definitely want to share what I feel like God has laid on my heart. I am an average person~wife, mother, friend, servant, but I don't want to waste the thoughts and things God has taught me. I have a HUGE burden for all~christians, and non-christians. See~I'm young, but, have experienced alot in my lifetime, alot more than the normal person walking around. And, I'm not ashamed to share those with you. I've experienced divorce within my family, drugs, alcoholism, and those in myself as well, rape, rejection, inadequecy, pregnant before marriage, bad financial decisions, family drama~you name it, and I've probably been there, but that's the beauty of it all, He saved me from it all, I still screw up, but I have his love, salvation, and grace. I have such a deep desire to tell my story to people, so, they can see Hope! I also know what it's like to go from one extreme to the other, I went from all those things, to a very religious person for awhile. But, my journey has changed, and I think God wants to get a message out that he loves us and wants to meet us where we are, not wait til the "xyz"" checklist is done, He wants us right now, right where we are! But, then you got all us christians who think we've got it together~so, we TELL n JUDGE others(both christians n non-nonchristians) what we think they need to do or how they need to act. If when we would look at true scripture and the walk of Jesus, he loved, he healed, he preached to the "heavy sinners" according to the pharisees was herocy, but if we took all that time gossiping, reaching out to the needy, quit picking the speck out of one anothers eye, and concentrate on the plank in ours, and truely seek to walk with Christ, we could reach sooo many more people. It's not about if you homeschool or not, if you have an alcoholic beverage or not, or keep your agenda full of "service" but, about reaching one another, loving one another, being ourselves, helping the needy, learning how Christ did walk, and even enjoying the joyous abundant life Christ gave us, yes, people we can enjoy life! Do we get caught up in the ways of the world, we all do, and we need to be on guard, but taking the religion out of the relationship is what it is all about!!! We are too caught up in our insecurities and pointing the finger at one another, we end up walking off the path that Jesus is walking on! How sad! We need to make a stand to live as Christ but, to let go of some of the religious things we hold onto to make us feel better, more Jesus like. It's like the story in the bible where the adulturous woman gets surrounded with towns people, and they see Jesus and say, "What should we do Jesus"" and he says,"if you are not a sinner then go for it" The point of this story is they condemned her instead of loving on her, when she knew she sinned, but their sins were no greater. We have to love one another!! Think about what that really means next time you find yourself gossipping, passing judgement of something you heard, or on passed along perception, instead think of a way to love this person, or confront them if they're sinning, pray about it! It excites me to death to think if we could come to the point where the religion is stopped, and the emphasis is on a relationship with Jesus, and we actually love everybody, and everyone, instead of sticking to the christians because it's safe, or makes us feel better because of our insecurities, or we're just too good to step out and love on that person who has a tatoo, or smokes, or drinks. Jesus walked a free path, he stopped for anyone, no criteria, just love to Glorify God!!

2009-07-14T17:46:00.001-07:00